Big birds are bad

Picture from M.C Bird and Exotic Rescue/Adoption Services, yeah a bird rescue because that's where they all end up eventually

We have an umbrella cockatoo. It seems that recently she may have finally gotten her full allotment of cockatoo hormones. She has suddenly become impossible for me to live with.

She chases me around the house trying to bite my shoes. I know it is because she watched me make them and she's now completely obsessed with my shoes. She also cannot stand it if I wear a hat and I wear a hat every day. She cannot stand my glasses. First she didn't like the leopard print glasses but now she doesn't like any glasses. Her whole life is organized around how she can get to me and bite my shoes, bite my hat, rip off my glasses and bite them. Sometimes she bites me instead, and her bite is very injurious.

I don't know what to do anymore. I hide in the bathroom each evening as it's the only place I can be safe.

Birds are bad news. Never get a big bird. If you must have a bird, get a little bird. My littler birds have all been very good. They don't pick their feathers, they don't run around biting me, they don't plan and scheme. Cockatoos are big birds and they should never be kept as pets.